Something about life

 

Working on my dissertation these days, due at the end of July. I’m moving out of the college accommodation this weekend, leaving my lovely housemates and starting a new life. What will happen next? I don’t know. I’m running and waiting. It’s exactly the same kind of situation as the same time last year. But my feeling is completely different. It’s not just because I have many more good choices now. It is myself growing up.

 

What had happened during this year pushed me several times close to the very end of my favourite road. I had to think about something that used to be far away from my own life. I was exciting that my life is like a drama and frustrating that I’m an actress lost in it. Even at those times I still felt that I shouldn’t compromise since I was never lack of love and luck. There’s no reason. I just believed in it. I did what I could do and left the rest to time. And then I walked on my favourite road again.

 

During this year, I made a big decision for the first time in my life that was not and could not from my brain but heart. I was shocked how strong human feeling could be. You are not able to do anything but listen to your heart. The more you do, the deeper you are. I was also surprised how close life could be to your imagination. It is this coincidence worth all the efforts and loss.

 

Someone lives a very happy and carefree life, but maybe one of the things he/she came across would knock you down. Someone thinks his/her life as a tragedy, but actually he/she just turns a blind eye on the beautiful side. We never know. We can’t judge. As we are not able to experience.

 

Never admire other people’s lives. Admire their personalities. Personality is everything. I believed in it. The things happened made it even more convincing to me.

 

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无意 无关

 

          女人不能太麻烦,不然男人会疲倦。女人也不能太省事,不然男人有精力被别的女人麻烦。

          有的女人很好追,有的女人很难追,也有的女人根本追不到。其实不是追不到,而是不能用追的方式得到。

          有的女人把百依百顺的男人当个宝,有的女人恨不得两个巴掌把他们赶跑。问题是这些男人常常不跑去当宝,反而往回跑。

          一切爱情的结束都似乎符合某一条规律,可是任何一条规律都不能在爱情开始时作为指导。只有理智的关系,没有理智的爱情。

          没有人期望艺术家只欣赏一件艺术品,但女人都希望男人既浪漫又专情。拿捏不住多情男人的女人就牺牲一点浪漫好了,不要缘木求鱼。

 

有意 无关

 

          有些事情,如果没有发生过,后面的生活真的会简单许多。但是如果这些事情不发生,后面的生活也就不是这个轨迹了。

          有时我们会感叹,一切都是那么美好,只是什么什么。可也许就是这个令人不满的什么什么,才造成了其它的美好。

          永远不要后悔,无论那曾是一个多么冲动的决定。我们都尊重别人,为什么不尊重昨天的自己?

          快乐的人并非遇到了快乐的事,只是拥有着快乐的能力。幸运的人并非得到了命运的偏爱,只是拥有着感激生命的心灵。

          两个人很合适的表现是,你做着让自己开心的事情,同时也愉悦了对方。取悦,忍耐甚至牺牲都是为不合适的关系付出的代价。

乱七八糟

Supervision

我隔一小阵儿就乐颠颠地和Supervisor约时间,和自己的Supervisor约也就罢了,还和别的老师约。我觉得Supervision真是好,一个人有一脑袋疑惑但也不知道问题是什么,另一个人有一脑袋思路但也不知道答案是什么,可是半小时之后问题就清楚了答案也出来了,两个人都很happy

 

Contrast

住的老房子隔音系统不太好。以前总能听见隔壁德国男生那里传来电影或者游戏的声音,配上他嘿嘿嘿哈哈哈的笑声。最近大家都忙着写论文,安静得好象隔壁没人一样,只有哈欠声以很高的频率传来。

 

Japan

刚开学的时候我和朋友去Wolfson跳舞,一个日本男人端着酒杯过来和我说话,笑眯眯地问这问那。然后他问了一句:Which part of China are you from? 我说:Nanjing. 他顿时就傻了,愣了一会儿,说Then you don’t like Japanese, right? 也没听我回答就晃走了。

 

Word

一天晚上在bar里,同house的波兰女生说起她在非洲时的见闻:The Africans believe that they could get rid of AIDS by raping virgins. 这时邻桌一个英国人走过来生气地说:Please say SOME OF the Africans. Pay attention to your word! 转身回座位时自己嘴上嘟囔:Fu*king blonde bit*h!

 

亲见查尔斯王子

 

今天Cambridge Overseas Trust,就是给了我一笔奖学金的机构,在Trinity College Fellows’ Garden举行了Reception for New Scholars and Bursars

 

进门时递材料的工作人员神秘地对我说:Do you know Prince Charles is coming?可惜我事先已经有耳闻,于是反问:Are his sons coming as well? 那人大笑。

 

一阵螺旋桨的声音过后,查尔斯王子在几位高大的保镖簇拥之下微笑走来,前面还有一个穿着大黑炮拿着彩色木棍的滑稽开路先锋。查尔斯的小指上带着刻有皇室标志的金戒,用专用的银杯喝水,他在Director of Trustee的陪同下走到学生中间开始握手,间或短暂交谈。走到我这的时候,我说: I have read your book on architecture. 他笑说:Oh no, you haven’t. (那本书A Vision of Britain – a personal view of architecture还是圣诞节的时候爸爸的英国朋友的儿子送给我的。)然后他接着说:你知道我过会儿要见谁吗?江苏省的一位环境方面的官员,我们要谈中国可持续建筑方面的问题。你肯定会感兴趣的。我和身旁的怡露(也是附中的)惊讶道:我们就是江苏来的啊。

 

后来查尔斯又继续与大家握手交谈了近一小时,我们在一旁感叹:当王子真不容易啊,每天乘直升机奔波各种活动,微笑面对无数陌生人,还要谈笑风生,应对自如。

 

随着“铛”的一声,查尔斯和Director一同走到前面开始简短演讲。原来这位Director是查尔斯当年在剑桥学习时的导师,他称查尔斯my pupil,全场大笑。查尔斯对大家说:我知道大家都很忙,如果因为来这个活动而没写完论文,那就告诉你的导师这全是我的错。

 

在一阵有节奏的掌声和一阵螺旋桨声音之后,查尔斯离开了剑桥。

 

我想着这个看似普通的人,有着自己的兴趣自己的爱人,却又有公众的关注公众的期待,又想到昨天刚读到的关于再次调查戴安娜王妃死因的文章,里面涉及很多皇室及政府内部的复杂关系,感叹一句:平民是福。