Working on my dissertation these days, due at the end of July. I’m moving out of the college accommodation this weekend, leaving my lovely housemates and starting a new life. What will happen next? I don’t know. I’m running and waiting. It’s exactly the same kind of situation as the same time last year. But my feeling is completely different. It’s not just because I have many more good choices now. It is myself growing up.
What had happened during this year pushed me several times close to the very end of my favourite road. I had to think about something that used to be far away from my own life. I was exciting that my life is like a drama and frustrating that I’m an actress lost in it. Even at those times I still felt that I shouldn’t compromise since I was never lack of love and luck. There’s no reason. I just believed in it. I did what I could do and left the rest to time. And then I walked on my favourite road again.
During this year, I made a big decision for the first time in my life that was not and could not from my brain but heart. I was shocked how strong human feeling could be. You are not able to do anything but listen to your heart. The more you do, the deeper you are. I was also surprised how close life could be to your imagination. It is this coincidence worth all the efforts and loss.
Someone lives a very happy and carefree life, but maybe one of the things he/she came across would knock you down. Someone thinks his/her life as a tragedy, but actually he/she just turns a blind eye on the beautiful side. We never know. We can’t judge. As we are not able to experience.
Never admire other people’s lives. Admire their personalities. Personality is everything. I believed in it. The things happened made it even more convincing to me.